Vegtable Soup for the Sick Soul

Today Cassandra went to the hospital so I had to go to class. I woke up thinking about skipping it because I didn’t feel very good. I forced myself to eat breakfast and then headed off. I talked with LaSia before class and I guess she is sick too. So that isn’t good. I was hoping I was just having a strange feeling day. But nope. Then after class I decided not to get lunch. I went down into the new cave in the new building which is much bigger but less warm and with less tables and chairs. It needs some work still.  Patrick went and got Pasta which was pesto and the smell of it just made my stomach churn.

Today in Lit we had a little quiz on the reading from the book. It was kind of difficult because I hadn’t read it because of my decision not to, but then again everyone else has pretty much given up on it too. I think I did pretty okay for not having read it. But not doing well is a consequence to not reading it. But I don’t really care at this point. I think I made the right decision. I ran into Cassandra after class and apparently the hospital was too busy so she didn’t actually see anyone and then had to walk back. She is at the point where she almost wants to just go home, and honestly with the level of pain she is in I would. Then I ran into sally and she went with me to find something to eat. I ended up getting vegetable soup from the guy across the street from the Casino. I went with Sally to the cave to eat it before she went to watch a movie in the library.

Then I went to print of some of our Lyon stuff for this weekend. I kind of started freaking out because the hotel I knew was out of town but I didn’t realize that there wasn’t a public transport nearby… I remembered when I booked it seeing something close but it is actually not close… And the hotel doesn’t say anywhere how to get there. So I am thinking we will have to taxi it… But it all is just kind of hitting the fan because if Cassandra is on crutches it is going to make this a very different trip… Which kind of sucks. She says she might not go which would kind of be easier but she has already paid her share of everything and then it would be splitting the taxi’s two ways instead of three… So overall it is just going to be a lot more expensive than I originally thought… I am not excited. And I feel like a total failure on booking this. If it had just been a two person room I would have been able to get one much closer but now they are all like crazy expensive to be still at least 15km out of town. I just feel terrible about it. And I was trying to figure all this out on a school computer where all the keys were messed up and I am sick of not getting English results. I was just frustrated and still am. It is not the trip I was hoping it would be so far…. I hope it gets better as it gets closer. I just feel so disorganized and confused and unsure about it all.

Then I went in to the library because I saw Sally there and I just broke down. I was just so stressed and freaked out about it that I just have this fear of getting there and not knowing what to do… She told me we should just Taxi. It is just going to be SO expensive… I feel terrible about it. Then we went and found LaSia and we went on a trip to the hardware store because I guess their sink is dripping and driving them crazy and their host mom is out of town. We did that and then decided to part ways.

I came home and decided to stay upstairs because I didn’t feel good. I watched some TV and tried to nap but it just wasn’t happening because I was stressed out. Finally Madame came up with Paul and asked how I was and I told her I wasn’t feeling to great and think I might be a bit sick. She kind of freaked out and was like how have you been wearing your coat? And shoes? And a scarf and hat and all? And I was like yeah but my friends are sick so I think it is from hanging out with them. She gave me some advil like stuff for my head. Paul was eating with us tonight so she went and made cordon bleu and pasta for him and we had more vegetable soup. When she was blending a second portion in the blender the top came off and soup went everywhere. It was pretty much a complete disaster… Then Paul was being a bit more on his press buttons side. It was kind of a bad combo. Finally when she sat down she opened the new bag of cheese and broke the reseal able seal off of the bag so we had to use the old bag to put in the new cheese. It was just not her day. Then we watched Merlin and then the start of the Grinch before Paul went downstairs. I feel bad that I don’t feel very good. I would rather be happy and making the most of what time I have left here. But that is a bit harder when you don’t feel very good.

After Paul left we kept watching the Grinch as Madame had never seen it before. Even by the end though she still has never seen it before because she slept through it. I just feel like exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I just feel spent. I miss home too. I miss things being easier to understand. I miss having the ease of a car. I miss my life at home. Though to be honest I don’t really know what it is I am coming back to… Everything seems to have changed a lot back home. It makes me worried there isn’t a place for me anymore.